For going through the process with me when I need it, and when I feel like I don’t. Thank you for carrying me through in my objections and selfish reactions, and for constantly telling me, “It’s gonna be worth it.”
For tirelessly singing to me about your ways, about your plans, about your heart when I seem to forget. You never run out of brilliant ideas, God (well, you are God hah), and you never run out of ways to make known to me your heart. The whole world needs to know about it. It needs to know about you.
For never giving up on me when people seemed to already have, including myself. You keep my head together from all the overthinking. When you remind me of who I am and of who you are, a new strength arises. You never get tired of me, God. You do not grow weary.
For deciding to love me in all my ups and downs, in all my bad decisions and indecisions, in all my failures and craziness and soap operas, thank you.
God, you are irreplaceable, unmatched and unrivaled. I love you, and it’s not fit for the typical love letter but it’s the truth—it’s because you first loved me.
I saw a painting of a place I wanted to see in real life—it was a place that looked like a lively forest. It had tall redwood-like trees, and behind was a fading picture of a great mountain range covered with thin mist. The sky was almost white in brightness, but patches of sky blues were there, too.
At night the place would probably look like one I had always kept in my heart to see (I saw a time lapse video of it on Youtube): a natural planetarium. The colors would turn to black and grey, but their forms would still be the same. The sky would be the highlight. It would be filled with so many bright stars that never appeared in the city where I grew up.
I have many other dreams. I dream to go to places and meet people from different races and cultures, to write a novel about love and hope and other beautiful stuff, to have long late-night drives with the one I love and many more. They range from simple to downright ambitious and impossible. I look down and see my feet walking a road I have been seeing everyday, and look in front of me and see some of these dreams on the other side (some I don’t see even a trace of), and I wonder, “How will I get there?”
Honestly, dreaming can be hard and painful. Giving up is easy. The distance from where I am today to where I want to be is a misty road filled with uncertainties that both excite and scare me but it’s a huge relief to know that I am not alone. I have people who love me, and ultimately I am with the One that loves me the most. He is faithful to His promise to always be with me so He is happily stuck with me, and I with Him. He is the One who tells me where to go and picks me up and gets me back on track when I get lost. He is the Answer to my “How will I get there?” and the One who gives me the grace to prepare actively, so these dreams won’t wreck me when they’re finally before me. He is the One who opens and closes doors, and asks me to keep on laying down my requests and petitions no matter how crazy they seemingly are because, well, He delights in hearing them and He listens—I am His beloved child. There have been times when He said yes and times when He answered no (and times I cried and even tried to do crazy stuff to try to twist His arm when He gave me the no’s), but it was His heart that made me still. He is a loving Father who will not give an untamable snake to His child that asks for one because she thought it was what she wanted for a cute pet.
Thank You, Jesus, for this gift. You could’ve just saved us but this gift of being God’s child is insanely mind blowing.
With big dreams, I ask God for bravery, too. When He finally opens a door, I pray that by His grace I won’t let fear nor doubt nor unbelief cripple me from taking the step to come in. I pray that I will always remember that when God opens doors He comes in with me—like I said (and I’m just echoing what He said) we’re stuck together for eternity. Jesus sealed that when He lived, died in my place and rose again for me (He did so for you, too! :-)).
While I wait, I will keep all of this in my heart and be faithful with what I have now, and enjoy the place where I am now. I ask God for grace and strength of heart because I, just like everyone (?), have the tendencies to get distracted and to be lazy and to be afraid and to run away. But God is faithful. He will always be with me and at the end of the day, that’s enough to still this heart. 🙂
“Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” (Psalm 27:14)
“I want to go to Paris so I’m staying in my room to sleep.”
The Bible says in Proverbs 4:26, “Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.” If we want to get to a specific place, we need to check the paths we’re taking. In reality, most of the paths to our goals are not hollowed by tall walls so we are forced to look at what’s in front of us. There are distractions. Often, beside the straight road to good health stand stalls of deep-fried chicken and ice cream and all those things that slow us down–or completely hinder us–from getting to the goal. It’s not always easy. It’s not always effortless to look away and dismiss all the nagging whatnot. But it’s always possible. Especially as children of God, we know the One who said it: It is possible! (Matthew 19:26)
If excellence is our goal, what are the things about ourselves that we have been tolerating? Are these things helping us to go the extra mile?
If purity is our goal, what are the things we’re looking at? What are the thoughts we’re pondering on?
If love is our goal, what are the thoughts that we have about the other person? Do these thoughts make us love the person more or do they fuel an ungodly fire?
We should take paths that apparently point and take us to the destination that we desire.
The great thing about setting goals (and eventually achieving them, oh yes) is we’re not on our own. Especially, for the more powerful things which are more often the things that are within us, we don’t have to go solo. For us believers God gave us people to walk with, people to help us with our blindsides. He gave us people who will lovingly be His voice and take the courage to tell us we’re off the track when we’re so. (I pray we have people like this in our lives. If we don’t yet, we can always ask God for them! I am sure God will grant it because it’s not His heart to lead us astray. 🙂 On a side note, I pray that we are not someone who no one wants to correct anymore because we always take offense and get angry. Hehe. Corrections can make us feel offended at times but let not the feeling of offense cause us to sin. Hooooo, grace!)
Ultimately, we have a Shepherd. We have Someone to ultimately lead us in they way we should go; we have Someone to willfully follow. He is the One who said that His grace is always sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). He is the One who said that, “Not by might nor by strength but by My Spirit, child.” (Zechariah 4:6). When God speaks to us and directs us, I pray that we will never harden our hearts just like what King David said. It’s amazing that in this life, we walk on paths and though we make wrong turns and stall on some distractions at times, God never gets tired of holding our hand and whispering to us, “That way is dangerous, child.” or “You’re taking too long on that area already, beloved. Let’s get going.” or “Great work, love.” We are not walking alone. We have Someone who tells us, “I will never leave you alone.” (Deuteronomy 31:6). And He never gets tired of reminding us that! 🙂
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.” (Proverbs 4:25-27)