Potted Plant

He sent her a gift, but it was not what she was asking for. She asked for a bouquet of flowers but he sent her a pot with a small shoot instead. It was one of those low maintenance plants. She placed it on her bedside table.

Days were busy, there were so many in her plate that going to bed at 3AM became a norm.

One of those nights, she left just her dim light on and laid herself down on the bed. She could not sleep. There was a lot in her head, and it was keeping her awake. As she tossed and turned, she saw the pot she almost forgot she had. To her surprise, it was no longer just a shoot—a tiny leaf grew… even if she never took good care of it. It was suddenly so beautiful in her eyes. She suddenly felt the desire to take care of it.

She remembered how this was not what she wanted. But she realized that sometimes we do not really know what we truly want until we are demonstrated it, until we are shown it. It made her think about the things in her life that were seemingly just handed over to her, things that did not make sense.

She then remembered him. This was not the first time, but how could he always know her heart so well? How could she often forget this about him?

She grabbed her phone and sent him a message. “Thank you,” she started off. “You truly know me better than I know myself.”

#30 Your Highs and Lows for the Month

My January 2021 has been super eventful! I officially entered a new season in my career!

This month, I said hello to my new work! New location, responsibilities, goals, growth opportunities and workmates. Truth be told, this major change overwhelmed me that I had about 3 full days of going through a transition stage. I had really meaningful moments with God in this stage. He was gracious enough to make me realize that what I was going through was natural because I was moving in to a new home after seven years.

So much may have changed around me and in me, but not my God. Grateful for His promise that we will always be in it together. 🧡

It’s so timely that I’m writing about my first few weeks at work now. From this vantage point, I can see that my first moments in this new season have been all highs.

This makes it hard to think of the lows. But if I really have to pick one, I’d go with the fact that I have to wake up early and commute to work. The Tita in me is adjusting well (albeit reluctantly) to the surge of physical activities… and justifies my purchase of good food coming to and going from work. 🤣

#1 List 10 Things that Make You Happy

Were you expecting someone else’s face?

Ola 2021! This new year begins with a writing challenge for me! I got a really fun one from Pinterest, and the topics per day will really make one want to write. I commit to start and finish this. Of course, I get to decide which ones to post in public and not.

Ten things that make me happy, not really in order, is in the next block. This is going to be a really long post, I will not hold back.

1. Compliments on my taste in music. I am a huge music lover. I listen to a very wide range of music. I know exactly what my jam is, but I like exploring new songs and new artists, in different varieties. In fact, I try to update my playlist every quarter. Compliment on my taste in music is in the same level as compliment on my looks. It makes me really happy! I like finding people who have the same taste as me, too!
   
   SKL: In Spotify’s 2020 review of my streaming, it said I discovered 735 new artists in 2020. I streamed music for 74,472 minutes. I am a happy subscriber. Yep, my decision to go for Spotify Premium is 200% worth it.
   
   
2. Compliments on my fashion. I dress really simply, but I think about what I wear. My liking changes, though. There was a season when I just wanted to wear dresses. I had blouses and jeans seasons, too. These days, I’ve been into black clothes (guess why) but I make sure I do not look plain.
   
   
3. Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS). Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, BTS! I like each one of them a lot! J-hope holds a very special place in my heart, but the seven members are one to me. They make me happy. I like that they do not pretend to be perfect. I like how humble they are despite everything they have achieved so far. They are grateful human beings, and you can see and feel it from them. I could go on and make a separate blog post(s) about them. Hahaha!
   
   
4. Iced coffee. I drink iced coffee everyday. I am not a fan of hot coffee, I only go for it when it’s crazy cold. How to have a Starbuck’s Barista Drink-level iced coffee everyday without breaking the bank… is one of my life’s missions these days. I am open for suggestions.
   
   
5. Words. Beautifully worded thoughts are a treat to my soul. I like creativity in general, but I like them most when they manifest through words–songs, novels, blogs, punchlines, poems, etc.
   
   
6. Taking videos and editing. Lately, making travel diaries have been making me happy. I especially enjoy the editing part—choosing the best music and making my shots ride with it. I have been intentionally honing this skill through practice, and I am happy with my improvement’s pace.
   
   
7. Relationships. I like people in general. I am always amazed at how different people are from one another, and from myself. I like understanding or at least seeing where people are coming from. I like learning from people’s stories. It makes me happy when people talk with me comfortably about life.
   
   My closest friends especially make me happy. I like spending time with them, and talking to them about anything under the sun. They’re an inexhaustible source of great perspectives and fun.
   
   
8. Going to places. I have been to quite a lot of places, especially here in the Philippines. Who doesn’t like going to places, really? I’m the type of traveler who likes enjoying the place through chilling (drives, short boat rides, visiting good cafes, eating, walking, biking, taking photos). I am not very fond of extreme activities, but I can come with people to cheer them on and take their pictures as they do it!
   
   
9. Being home with my family. I used to only spend time with my family during weekends due to work. But because of the pandemic, I got to stay home more. I am grateful for realizing again how beautiful it is to be home. I love being with my family. I love being home.
   
   
10. Conversations with God. I love conversing with God. He is just the safest place. I love expressing my rawest thoughts and emotions to Him. Everything just goes to the maximum level when He speaks back.

Ideals

She looked at this burning series of frames.

She knew it was a bonfire from her friend’s recent out of town trip. She heard they went to a really good place, and it looked like this shot was taken while she was chillin’ with her good friends. Maybe someone was playing the guitar then? They were singing and drinking hot choco while switching between spacing out and singing to the strum.

But what really happened was far from that.

Actually, around the small bonfire were three groups of strangers. One was a group of beautiful married women, pulling off a stand up comedy in amazingly loud voices. If laughter could pay the bills, the three women could turn on their AC 24/7 and worry not.

Another group was a couple. They have been together for a really long time—they have known each other since they were very young. They looked like lovers most of the time, and barkada the rest. It was a delight to hear a little bit of their story.

The third group has four young ladies. They went with their mallows, chocolate bars, graham crackers and sticks. They listened to the stories of these amazing people, about real situations they haven’t heard in person in a while. They answered in the few times they were asked, and laughed at every joke that filled the air.

Hearing what actually happened, she realized that ideals could have different faces. Her first idea was really good, but what transpired did not fall short. She would even dare say the latter is a lot better.

When the ideal doesn’t happen, it doesn’t always mean that the best already left the group chat. Maybe it just gives an opportunity to peek outside the closed room of presupposition, where greater stories are still waiting to be told.

So I pray that you will not lose hope. The story is not yet done. He will come through. He is good. He promises to not forsake those who come to Him. So come to Him and hand over the ideals and the fears that threaten them. Come and surrender the broken ones that wound your palms. He knows what to do with them. Surely, He can redeem the irredeemable. He proved it with His life, death and raising again to life… as promised. 🙂

Secret

Walking slowly with him through the woods, he told a story that pierced her heart—he told her a secret that her own heart buried deep into itself from more than a decade ago.

Memories rushed into her mind like puzzle pieces finding their proper places to complete the big picture. They stopped her in her tracks. Things started making sense. Sadness embraced her heart when she realized she does not know what to do with what he told him.

“I do not know,” she thought. “I do not know how to deal with this.”

A warm hand then held hers, and brought her back to the now. She got too caught up in thinking about resolution that she forgot he was there, with her.

He smiled at her and said, “Take heart, my love. I know where to go from here. You are on your own.” 🙂

Care

I love my Bluetooth speaker, this JBL GO 2 in ash gray. I named it Yuki, the first word that came into my mind when it arrived. I have been wanting one since I learned about how good it is, thanks to my best friends (both of them own a black JBL GO). They would bring it in our out of town trips, and I have been wowed by its sound quality and portability. Music is lovely, but it’s a lot lovelier with it! I thought the price was just right, too. However it’s just a want, not a need. So I waited till I could happily purchase it without guilt.

From the time it arrived, there’s never been a day after that I did not play music with it. Specs say it plays up to 5 hours and fully charges in 2.5 hours. Because I want it to stay with me for a very long time, I make sure to respect the charging hours. Good thing this one’s smart, so it tells me when I can use it already for another round of playing music.

Because it’s ash gray, too, I guard it well from dirt, stains and scratches. It’s fragile so I don’t just put it anywhere. I make sure it always sits far from the edge.

I’m writing this because I am amazed at the extent of care I give to this possession. See, I am not the most careful person (but I’m working on this, with God’s grace). This thing was something I really wanted, and I enjoy the fact that it’s mine. I really love music and this makes me appreciate it more.

Makes me think now about the more important possessions I have in my life—my relationships. With God and with people. How well have I been taking care of these lately? How can I be better? I am grateful for the chance to reevaluate. This needs to be done deliberately and regularly.

Write

I’m pretending to read, not even write, in this picture though lol

I want to do a lot of things. For one, I want to write again.

But I think what holds me back is my little fear that as I write, thoughts and feelings that I do not want to have start getting afloat.

I might found out that I am subtly worrying about the future.

I might also see scratches in my heart that are still healing.

I might lock eyes with the fact that I have shortcomings that I couldn’t make up for anymore.

But wow, now that I am writing these things, there is actually nothing to be afraid of.

I might see that I am subtly worrying about the future, but we all worry about it sometimes, don’t we? What matters is we do not stay worried, after all, we do not brave the future that’s yet to unfold alone. Ultimately, we are in the care of the One who sees it and is sovereign over it.

I might also see scratches in my heart that are still healing, but everyone is in this journey, right? We all get wounded but we all go through degrees of healing—some quickly, some gradually. Getting wounded and healed is part of life. I might as well ask for the grace to learn to enjoy it.

I might lock eyes with the fact that I have shortcomings that I couldn’t make up for anymore, but the decision to stay in its pits is actually up to me. Some incidents may linger in my heart for a long time, so a short while. But I have the choice to replay it over and over and be trapped, or I could move forward and use these turnovers for my good. I think I could do that while still holding on to the hope that God would open opportunities for me to make it up if His good, pleasing and perfect will permits.

With this, maybe I should really write more.

Lean Not

“Dad, I am scared,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t want to be scared.”

Tucking the loose strands of her hair to the back of her right ear, her Dad smiled at her and said, “Lean not on your own understanding, my dear child.”